I Love You, Beth Cooper

Book: I Love You, Beth Cooper
Author: Larry Doyle
Audience: High School to Adult
In a Nutshell: one nerd's all-night mad-cap journey from valedictorian to happy, bloody pulp

Denis Cooverman is valedictorian, debate team captain, social misfit, and sweatier than he knows what to do with. During his graduation speech at Buffalo Grove High School, he deviates from his original script and instead confesses his enduring love for Beth Cooper, cheerleading captain and homecoming queen. Ever since he first sat behind her in seventh grade- an arrangement often to be repeated due to their sequential last names- he has loved her from behind. And yes, he does say that last phrase at graduation. You can imagine the response.

But the speech is only the beginning of a non-stop night of hijinks and attempts on his life. Beth and the other two girls in her Trinity of Cool, Treece and Cammy, actually show up for reasons unknown at Denis's party, which until that moment consisted only of Denis and his movie-quote-obsessed, ambiguous-yet-insistently-not-gay best friend, Rich Munsch. Then Beth's psycho military boyfriend, Kevin, shows up in a Hummer, and the fun just keeps comin'.

I think humor is one of the toughest things to review, because everyone's sense of it is so different. With that disclaimer in place, I'll say this is the funniest book I've read in a long time. Really, really, funny. I was reading it while waiting for my oil change and trying not to laugh out loud in public, but the funny-ness could not be contained. And that's how I ended up snorting to myself in Tires Plus. Think of the funniest end-of-school teen movie you know and you're getting the idea.

There is an illustration of Denis at the beginning of each chapter, and each one reflects the new injuries and indignities he received in the last chapter. There's a wealth of brilliant new phrases, at least new to me, like "benevolent cliquetator". I present the context for another choice phrase as an example of what I found so funny:

"Henry was the local purveyor of aftermarket pharmaceuticals, not quite a drug dealer though he played the part, replete with an embroidered urban dialect spoken only in the suburbs. What made Henry's lily-white gangsta act all the more sad was that he was African-American. He was a black whigger." (p. 107)

One of the blurb writers describe the book as "wickedly funny," and that about sums it up.

The Arrival

Book: The Arrival
Author: Shaun Tan
Audience: Ages 10 to adult (seriously!)
In a Nutshell: wordless tale of immigration, only with crazy critters and surreal scenery

I don't know where I first read about The Arrival, but whoever it was, they were really psyched about this Australian book's American release. And whoever you were, you were right. Done in sepia tones in the style of a faded, aging scrapbook, the masterful appeal of this graphic novel defies easy description; you just need to pick it up and see for yourself. The story is an old one: a man leaves his wife and daughter to emigrate to a strange country, where he hopes to earn enough money to bring his family over and start a new life. The reasons for leaving are vague but sinister: huge shadows from spiky tails, tentacles, or worse are cast over everything. The written language in his new country is unfamiliar to the man, and to the reader, and the feeling of incomprehension and confusion comes through amazingly well.

The man meets people along the way who help him, and tell him their stories of how they came to live there. The first friend he makes is actually a little creature that makes himself right at home as a loyal pet. The presence of fantastical creatures and the very surreal, stylized, larger-than-life look of the city and countryside are brilliant ways to jolt us jaded modern people into the sense of wonder and intimidation that newcomers anywhere have felt for centuries, especially entering huge, New York-esque cities.

Even though it's wordless, resist the urge to flip through quickly. The longer you spend on each finely detailed page, the more you'll see. Considering this book, Printz Award-winning American Born Chinese, and National Book Award finalist The Invention of Hugo Cabret, graphic novels as a mainstream literary art form have taken some serious steps forward in the past year or two.

As Simple As Snow

Book: As Simple As Snow
Author: Gregory Galloway
Audience: High School to Adult
In a Nutshell: narrator has a free-spirited goth girlfriend who disappears, but no name

Anna Cayne, who prefers Anastasia, moves to town one August, and by February she has killed everyone in town- at least on paper, when she finishes writing their obituaries. She dresses goth but defies definition when she starts going out with a normal, almost invisibly ordinary guy. He considers himself more boring than milk- more like water. His mom is incompetent at everything, his dad hides in his den most of the time, and his older brother barely ever visits their stifling home. He has one friend, Curt, who is the friendly, well-liked school drug dealer- mostly prescription stuff like Ritalin. His and Anna's odd couple relationship is the talk of the school, and her zest for mystery and knowing her world is beginning to rouse him from his mediocre life. Then a week before Valentine's Day, she disappears. The only evidence she leaves behind is a hole in the ice of the river and a dress, carefully laid out next to the hole. No one knows if she's dead or alive. She used to constantly send him cryptic notes and mix CD's, and that doesn't end after she's gone. The narrator- who remains unnamed the entire book- becomes obsessed with figuring out what her clues mean and where she is, even if that means asking TV and phone psychics he doesn't really believe in and trying to catch them out like Houdini did. He and Anna had a code phrase they would use to know if the other person was trying to contact them: "as simple as snow." Now he is seeing and hearing it several places. Even when he seems to be getting nowhere in solving her mystery, his life is changing along the way, mostly for the better.

Very good mystery- although I'm warning you, a lot goes unresolved in the end. Many questions are left with only the smallest hints of answers, but by the end the narrator's life and outlook have changed in such a way that I didn't hate the ambiguity.

This book won an Alex Award in 2006, and for good reason. For whatever mysterious distinction that New York devised, it was published for adults, but it's really a high school book. I mean, really. High school characters, authentic high school voice, some language and mention of sex, but nothing explicit (not that that bars it from the teen shelves). All part of cashing in on the YA book market's enormous growth, I suppose.

Since the hardcover and paperback covers are so different, I included both. Which do you like better? I can't decide.

King Dork

Book: King Dork
Author: Frank Portman
Audience: High school to adult
In a Nutshell: Sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll, Catcher in the Rye, and the mystery of a dead father

Tom Henderson has one friend, Sam Hellerman, by way of alphabetical order seating, and a nickname, Chi-Mo, he prefers not to explain. He and Sam Hellerman have a band together, although they have no drummer, no instruments, have never performed, and change the band name about once a week (there's even an index devoted to tracking all the names). Nevertheless, they practice nearly every day after school. Hillmont High School is your basic teenage nightmare: subhuman popular kids, teachers ranging from indifferent to vindictive, and a social ladder on which Tom may actually exist below the bottom rung, if that's possible. In one predictable bit of torture, he'll be reading The Catcher in the Rye again this year. He doesn't understand the cult following surrounding that book, but when he discovers a well-worn copy among his dad's things, he's shocked to discover that his dad, who died when he was young, was a member of the Catcher Cult, too. A series of cryptic notes in the book lead Tom to believe there is a code hidden by his father, and he obsessively tries to figure it out.

Add also life with his spaced-out mother, bitter sister, and well-meaning but parentally-challenged stepfather, a mystery girl he gets to second base with at a party and now can't find again, and the spinning devil-head that looks like his English teacher that pops up whenever he uses a vocab word, just to name a few of his issues.

Without getting into all the insanity, I'll just say that this is a very funny book, definitely for older readers. There's language, groping, a bit of drug use, and fairly regular blow jobs. So now I've either warned you, or sent you running for the library. The author, Frank Portman, is apparently known as "Dr. Frank" of the Mr. T Experience, and if I knew anything about old-school West Coast punk, that might mean something to me.

I leave you with a quote from one of my favorite episodes in the book: the Stratego Sex Inquisition:

"I had just been a participant in the most retarded version of the sitcom sex talk the world had ever seen... Maybe my mom...had told LBT [stepfather] he had to talk to me about sex. He was reluctant but couldn't refuse. And in the course of his research he got sidetracked by Stratego and-boom! My sexual awakening was suddenly all about Vietnam."

Imaginary Men

Book: Imaginary Men
Author: Anjali Banerjee
Audience: Adult and High School
In a Nutshell: sort of an Indian-American Pride and Prejudice meets Hello, Dolly

Lina Ray grew up in California, but her family roots are deeply planted in India. Now that her little sister is married, she becomes the very direct target of her great-aunt's matchmaking efforts. To avoid a horrible set up, she tells her family she's actually secretly engaged. Unfortunately, her aunt insists on coming to America to officially approve of this mystery man. Since there is no such man, and she doesn't want to disappoint her family, Lina has 2 months to find Mr. Right. She even runs a matchmaking service in San Francisco, but that doesn't seem to be helping her avoid some really bad dates. Of course, enter Raj: the most unsuitable match possible. They met at her sister's wedding, and now he wants her to find a wife for his younger brother. You can guess where this is going. To top it all off, he's an actual Indian prince of some sort. It even has some sensitive elements, as Lina gradually lets go of the idealized memory of her dead fiance. I read it in one sitting; but I never could resist a good Pride and Prejudice-type story, and this is one.

Pride of Baghdad

Book: Pride of Baghdad
Author: Brian Vaughan
Artist: Niko Henrichon
Audience: High School and Adult
In a Nutshell: escaped lions roam war-torn Baghdad

When Baghdad is bombed by US forces, the zoo is heavily hit, and what animals survive escape into the war-torn streets. Four lions- Zill, Safa, Noor, and the cub Ali- have different reactions. For Safa, freedom is a dream come true; Noor, who lived in the wild, prefers the safety of the zoo. It's up to the male, Zill, to hold them together as a pride. They face the dangers of other escaped animals, encounter dangerous new creatures such as herds of tanks, and learn more about the perplexing world of the Keepers as their world collides with the human world.

This graphic novel takes a powerful look at war from an animal perspective. For example, the old tortoise they meet by the river has seen it all before; he doesn't know what the conflicts are about, just that the humans make black death (oil) flow in the river every time. As if no food and the really nasty "pet" bear they find in an abandoned palace aren't bad enough, they have yet to cross paths with American assault rifles.

Be aware that this is an adult graphic novel; there is some language, graphic violence (I hope I never actually see a giraffe get its head blown off by a shell *shudder*), and sexual content. The sex is between lions and not graphic, but still disturbing in places where assault is portrayed.

Maturity level aside, this is a remarkable war story- and based on a true event, by the way. A group of lions did escape from the Baghdad zoo amidst shelling in 2003.

Those Left Behind (Serenity graphic novel)

Book: Those Left Behind (a Serenity graphic novel)
Author: Joss Whedon
Artist: Will Conrad
Audience: Teen to Adult
In a Nutshell: what happened between Firefly (TV) tand Serenity (movie)

If you are a Browncoat, you should read this graphic novel. If you are a Browncoat, you probably already own this graphic novel. If you don't know what a Browncoat is, welcome to the fan world of Firefly, a marvelous but short-lived western sci-fi series by the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It was truly one of the best sci-fi series to come around in the last 10 years, so of course Fox gave it the shaft. But it lived on in the hearts and DVD collections of rabid fans everywhere, and by some miracle Joss Whedon actually got a theatrical movie released to follow it up. The show and the movie are very, very shiny, to use Firefly lingo. I won't go into detail, but I'll throw the term "mercenary space cowboys" out there and let you rent/borrow/buy the DVD's and fall in love with Firefly yourself.

This graphic novel fills in a story that takes place between the end of the show and where the movie picks up. Without being a critical piece of the Firefly universe, the story does manage to be very interesting and relevant to the characters. But those of us who get all starry-eyed when Joss Whedon's name is mentioned have come to expect no less.

A History of the World in 6 Glasses

Book: A History of the World in 6 Glasses
Author: Tom Standage
Audience: High School and Adult
In a Nutshell: beer, wine, spirits, coffee, tea and Coca-Cola explain everything

Beer was portable wealth in ancient Egypt; Coke represents-- and pioneered-- current globalization trends. In between, lots of other stuff was either influenced or reflected by various major beverages. Very interesting angle on world history with lots of tasty factoids to wet your whistle.

Foundation

Book: Foundation
Author: Isaac Asimov
Audience: High School to Adult
In a Nutshell: they're saving humanity, but they have no idea how

Sometimes I feel like a big slacker of a sci-fi fan, because there are a lot of classic novels I've never read. This was one of them. Here's the deal: Hari Seldon is the galaxy's greatest psychohistorian, meaning he can predict major events and risings and fallings of civilization based on what he knows of history, sociology, and statistics. That's right, math. Don't bother looking up "psychohistory", because the author made it up. Leave it to Asimov to imagine a universe where a math geek will save us all. That's what Seldon set out to do: through his science he sees that the gi-normous and all-powerful Galactic Empire will soon collapse, plunging the human race into 30,000 years of primitive dark ages before we recover. Seldon believes he can reduce that dark time to a mere 1,000 years. How? By setting up the Encyclopedia Foundation on a little planet on the edge of nowheresville, galactically speaking. The job of the Foundation members is to create a massive encyclopedia containing the sum of human knowledge so that it won't be lost in the dark time to come. A nice idea, but will that really eliminate 29,000 years of suffering? No, not really. Turns out old Hari Seldon had a lot more planned than just a 1,000-volume leather-bound set. The tricky part is, Seldon purposely didn't tell anyone else what chain of events would begin after the Foundation was created. So the people of the Foundation planet have no idea what they're really doing, or how it might save humanity.

The premise is very interesting, and I enjoyed the book for a while. But honestly, I got a little impatient toward the end. Like Asimov himself mentions in the foreward, the book is all ideas and talk, talk, talk. Big, exciting things do happen, but they're always "off-camera", so to speak. Only once that I remember was the point of view actually in the action. Maybe I've just been reading too many action-heavy YA books (is that even possible?!), but after a while I wanted to see the action for myself, not just hear someone talk about what just happened, or was still happening, or was about to happen. Anyway, I'm glad I read it, but I don't think I'll check out the rest of the series quite yet.

The Lathe of Heaven

Book: The Lathe of Heaven
Author: Ursula K. Le Guin
Audience: High School and Adult
In a Nutshell: one man's dreams become reality- literally

George Orr is afraid to fall asleep. More specifically, he's afraid to dream. Sometimes, the things he dreams come true. Not just in a make-a-wish-and-magically-get-a-puppy kind of way. If he dreamed he had a dog, he wouldn't just wake up and find one on his doorstep. He would wake up to discover he had gotten a dog 2 years ago, and no one in the world would remember the way things used to be- no one except him. The dog thing doesn't happen in the book, but you get the idea.

George is ordered to go to a psychiatrist who specializes in dreaming, a man named Dr. Haber. Naturally, at first Haber thinks George is delusional. The good doc uses hypnosis and a machine called the Augmentor to help George dream something pleasant and hopefully break his fear of dreaming. But being aware of the content of George's dreams gives Haber the ability to remember both realities when things change. Not just that, but having control of what George dreams gives Haber the power to change the world. Like most people, he thinks he has good intentions, that he is trying to create a better world. But nothing turns out quite the way it should, and the dreams reshape history in twisted, only partly positive ways. As Haber gets closer to finding a way to take George's abilities as his own, George must stop him before so much meddling causes the world to fall apart at the seams. Very intriguing sci-fi classic about the interconnection of dream and reality, mind and matter, and the evil that lurks in the heart of man.

It's set in Portland, Oregon, which lends the story that Pacific Northwest geography I love so much. On an interesting geo-historical side note, the book was written in 1971, 9 years before the eruption of Mt. St. Helens. Le Guin mentions the beautiful peak of St. Helens several times, but it is Mt. Hood that erupts in the book's dream-altered realities.

If you're wondering where the title comes from (I know I was), each chapter begins with a quote, many drawn from Eastern philosophy, especially Taoist thought. Chapter 3 begins with this quote from Chuang Tse:

Those whom heaven helps we call the sons of heaven. They do not learn this by learning. They do not work it by working. They do not reason it by using reason. To let understanding stop at what cannot be understood is a high attainment. Those who cannot do it will be destroyed on the lathe of heaven.

So now you know. If you're wracking your brain to remember what a lathe is, here's some help:

All clear now, right?

It spins chunks of wood and shapes them into things like table legs and baseball bats. More to the point, it was probably the only power tool in existence before 300 B.C., when Chuang Tse, a.k.a. Zhuangzi, a.k.a. Zhuang Tze, etc., was thinking Taoist thoughts. If he were writing today, would he say, "those who cannot do it will be destroyed on the Black & Decker plunge router of heaven"? Who knows.

Daring to Draw Near

Book: Daring to Draw Near: People in Prayer
Author: John White
Audience: Adult
In a Nutshell: from bargaining to dancing, famous prayers in the Bible and what they show us about God and ourselves

I've gotten a little backlogged again on updates, so these will be short and sweet. White examines 10 prayers in the Bible, and by "prayer," he doesn't just mean kneeling with eyes closed and hands folded. All sorts of divine-human interactions qualify: Abraham pleading for the people of Sodom, Jacob wrestling with God, Hannah crying out for a child, David dancing before the ark of the covenant, Jesus' last words on the cross, and more.

I found that oodles of the ideas that I read here were stuck in my head for days, and some are even sticking with me permanently. One main point of the book is that prayer is always initiated by God, and we are responding to him. The way he reaches out and the way we respond both vary wildly, but God is always the one to initiate. It's often through a situation in our lives which creates a need or a question that we bring to him. Whatever the further meaning is behind what's happening to or around us, God's foremost desire is that everything draw him and us closer together. It's something to think about. For those who believe in Christ and want to be challenged and inspired in their prayer life, or for those outside the faith interested in learning more about what prayer really means in Christianity, try this book. I know I'll be coming back to it many times in the future.

The Big Over Easy

Book: The Big Over Easy
Author: Jasper Fforde
Audience: Adult
In an Eggshell: Humpty Dumpty had a great fall- and it was no accident

Two days after meeting the author, I finished the book (slightly behind schedule). It was a fun read, although I have to say it wasn't as good as the Thursday Next series. However, it was actually the first book he wrote, so it's a good sign that his later writings have improved.

Like I mentioned in the Fforde entry below, in this book Detective Inspector Jack Spratt and Detective Sergeant Mary Mary (as in "quite contrary") investigate the death of Humpty Dumpty. Jack's work has long been hampered by the state of modern crime-solving. The readability of an investigation once it is published in Amazing Crime Stories has become more important than finding the truth. Twists, turns, not too many cliches, and a detective with unique and interesting foibles will all help a case get recognition, funding, and a fair trial. It doesn't hurt to be part of the powerful and selective Guild of Detectives, either, which Jack is not, but the pompous but popular Friedland Chymes is. All sorts of fairy tale and nursery rhyme characters are mixed into an otherwise normal portrayal of Reading (rhymes with wedding), a town west of London. Normal, except for the anthropomorphized pigs. And a revered but never explained artifact called the Sacred Gonga. And the presence of really boring aliens who love paperwork and Fawlty Towers. So maybe normal is the wrong word. But like with the Thursday Next series, the combination of the mundane, the fantastic, and the just plain batty is good for all sorts of chuckles, and the occasional guffaw. Don't look for tight plotting or edge-of-your-seat suspense; just laugh when it's funny. If you don't think it's funny, you should put it down.

Puns, plays on words, and plays on well-known characters and stories abound, and they're much more over-the-top than in Thursday Next. Mr. Fforde shared an interesting tidbit of his writing process relating to all the story references. He wrote The Big Over Easy first, followed by The Fourth Bear. At this point, he had used up most of the fairy tales and nursery rhymes he knew, so he moved on to literary characters in his next book. Knowing that this one could very well end up on the unpublished shelf with the first two freed him up to write whatever he wanted, however silly or outlandish it was. And thus The Eyre Affair was born. See what nice trivia you can pick up at author appearances? Great for impressing your friends and co-workers. As long as they're big bookworms like you.