King Dork

Book: King Dork
Author: Frank Portman
Audience: High school to adult
In a Nutshell: Sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll, Catcher in the Rye, and the mystery of a dead father

Tom Henderson has one friend, Sam Hellerman, by way of alphabetical order seating, and a nickname, Chi-Mo, he prefers not to explain. He and Sam Hellerman have a band together, although they have no drummer, no instruments, have never performed, and change the band name about once a week (there's even an index devoted to tracking all the names). Nevertheless, they practice nearly every day after school. Hillmont High School is your basic teenage nightmare: subhuman popular kids, teachers ranging from indifferent to vindictive, and a social ladder on which Tom may actually exist below the bottom rung, if that's possible. In one predictable bit of torture, he'll be reading The Catcher in the Rye again this year. He doesn't understand the cult following surrounding that book, but when he discovers a well-worn copy among his dad's things, he's shocked to discover that his dad, who died when he was young, was a member of the Catcher Cult, too. A series of cryptic notes in the book lead Tom to believe there is a code hidden by his father, and he obsessively tries to figure it out.

Add also life with his spaced-out mother, bitter sister, and well-meaning but parentally-challenged stepfather, a mystery girl he gets to second base with at a party and now can't find again, and the spinning devil-head that looks like his English teacher that pops up whenever he uses a vocab word, just to name a few of his issues.

Without getting into all the insanity, I'll just say that this is a very funny book, definitely for older readers. There's language, groping, a bit of drug use, and fairly regular blow jobs. So now I've either warned you, or sent you running for the library. The author, Frank Portman, is apparently known as "Dr. Frank" of the Mr. T Experience, and if I knew anything about old-school West Coast punk, that might mean something to me.

I leave you with a quote from one of my favorite episodes in the book: the Stratego Sex Inquisition:

"I had just been a participant in the most retarded version of the sitcom sex talk the world had ever seen... Maybe my mom...had told LBT [stepfather] he had to talk to me about sex. He was reluctant but couldn't refuse. And in the course of his research he got sidetracked by Stratego and-boom! My sexual awakening was suddenly all about Vietnam."

don't judge an author by his covers

This is me (behind the paper), my co-worker Ginger (left), and author Richard Peck. Why do I so often look slightly sedated in photos? I don't know. But that's beside the point. Richard Peck writes mostly American historical fiction for the 4-8th grade set, which is not my favorite genre, but the writing is so good that I read and enjoy them anyway. Earlier this week, he visited my library. He's an engaging speaker, and I'm glad I got the chance to meet him.

He touched on a few topics, like writing, the subjects of his books, etc., but there was a refrain that ran throughout his talk. Mr. Peck's mission is to bad-mouth his publisher's art department up one side of the country and down the other.

See that look on his face? That's the way he feels about at least 9 out of 10 of his covers. It was pretty funny, if a bit obsessive. The man never gets the covers he asks for, and the books are less appealing as a result. Which is probably true. They're not bad covers, just very sedate. By his telling, the art department ladies have it in for him and give him the exact covers he asks them not to do. For The Teacher's Funeral, for example, he asked for a fist fight, and they gave him a photo of a one-room schoolhouse.

The international examples got truly bizarre. His most famous character is Grandma Dowdel in A Long Way from Chicago, a cantankerous and independent woman living on a farm in Illinois. Yes, she has a shotgun, and yes, she is extremely wary of unexpected visitors who may be salesmen, but it's all very funny. In Japan, the cover for the book looks more like a deleted scene from Deliverance. I couldn't find a close-up graphic, but squint sideways at the above photo and you might get the idea.

Once you leave out the cover ranting, there were only about 20 minutes left of presentation (okay, maybe 30), but it was good. He's a big supporter of libraries and all the research you can do there. One of his most memorable statements for me was (and I paraphrase): people say you should write what you know; forget that. No one wants to hear about what you know. Write about what you can find out.
I like that. I can find out quite a bit.

Victory

Book: Victory
Author: Susan Cooper
Audience: Grades 4-7
In a Nutshell: two kids, two centuries, one ship, and one set of memories shared

Molly Jennings misses England. Her mother married an American, and now Molly, her mother, and her new baby brother live on the East Coast. In the midst of missing home and friends, hating sailing, and hating her step-brother's obnoxious best friend, Molly stumbles across an old book about Vice-Admiral Horatio Lord Nelson, the hero of the Battle of Trafalgar. She's never been particularly interested in naval history, but she feels strangely drawn to this book. Hidden inside the cover, she is amazed to discover a piece of the flag flown over Nelson's ship at Trafalgar, the H.M.S. Victory. According to the note, it's been passed down from a boy who served with the Admiral in that fateful battle; his name was Sam Robbins. Molly begins to hear strange noises, see strange things, and remember bits of dreams that seem like memories; except she's never been at sea, and she's never been in battle. And the memories get stronger all the time.

Sam Robbins and his Uncle Charlie are press-ganged into the Royal Navy when Sam is only eleven- legally kidnapped when Her Majesty needed more sailors. Although it's a difficult adjustment from farm boy to the harsh life of a sailor, Sam grows to love the sea and, like all his shipmates, love Lord Nelson. He is proud and honored when Nelson makes Victory his flag ship for the coming battle against Napoleon's forces, but he's also scared; he's never seen real battle. He knows it won't be pretty, but nothing could prepare him for the horror and grief of what he witnesses.

Molly and Sam's stories come together in a dramatic battle climax as two characters separated by 200 years are joined by one scrap of flag and intense memories that mysteriously bridge the centuries.

British school children learn about Lord Nelson the way Americans learn about Abraham Lincoln, maybe- pick an iconic hero and you've got it. I admit, if someone had asked me about Nelson before I read this book, all I would've remembered was that he's the pigeon-covered guy on the column in Trafalgar Square (apologies to Mr. McKean, my European Civilizations teacher: you tried). So this story was a good history refresher disguised as a sea story for you fans of nautical adventures. There is also touching family drama as Molly comes to terms with her new home, stepdad and stepbrother, as well as finally, properly saying goodbye to her father, who died in a plane crash at sea several years earlier. All nicely tied together with a thread of mysterious fantasy.

Imaginary Men

Book: Imaginary Men
Author: Anjali Banerjee
Audience: Adult and High School
In a Nutshell: sort of an Indian-American Pride and Prejudice meets Hello, Dolly

Lina Ray grew up in California, but her family roots are deeply planted in India. Now that her little sister is married, she becomes the very direct target of her great-aunt's matchmaking efforts. To avoid a horrible set up, she tells her family she's actually secretly engaged. Unfortunately, her aunt insists on coming to America to officially approve of this mystery man. Since there is no such man, and she doesn't want to disappoint her family, Lina has 2 months to find Mr. Right. She even runs a matchmaking service in San Francisco, but that doesn't seem to be helping her avoid some really bad dates. Of course, enter Raj: the most unsuitable match possible. They met at her sister's wedding, and now he wants her to find a wife for his younger brother. You can guess where this is going. To top it all off, he's an actual Indian prince of some sort. It even has some sensitive elements, as Lina gradually lets go of the idealized memory of her dead fiance. I read it in one sitting; but I never could resist a good Pride and Prejudice-type story, and this is one.

If I Have a Wicked Stepmother, Where's My Prince?

Book: If I Have a Wicked Stepmother, Where's My Prince?
Author: Melissa Kantor
Audience: Teen
In a Nutshell: is Prince Charming captain of the basketball team, or a brooding artist?

Lucy's mother died when she was young, and she had no need for another one. But her father remarried anyway, to a furniture-shopping socialite with twin socialite-wannabe daughters who can do no wrong in their mother's eyes. Now she's stuck on the East Coast, thousands of miles from home and friends, and even her dad has abandoned her to work all week out of state, leaving her alone with the steps.

Despite feeling like a social pariah, she catches the attention of the Big Man on Campus with her impressive basketball knowledge and fandom. But all is not quite right, despite her overnight popularity by association. She's stuck for how to finish her art project, the talented guy in her class continues to ignore her entirely, and her step-mother keeps her in the basement with no furniture and horns in on all her time with her dad.

Cinderella retellings abound, and no surprises here, but I really liked this one. Very witty, funny writing, and not all the stereotyped characters are entirely shallow.